Category Archives: Handwashing to the Oldies

Handwashing to the O Antiphons: King of Nations

stained glass by transguyjayOk, “O Come O Come Emmanuel” doesn’t even mention today’s messianic title, “King of Nations,” in its paraphrase of the verse. That’s kind of egregious. Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you, nineteenth-century Anglican cleric and hymn writer John Mason Neale!

According to that random Catholic website I have not fact checked, the original O Antiphon is:

O Rex Gentium, et desideratus earum, lapisque angularis, qui facis utraque unum: veni, et salva hominem, quem de limo formasti.

O King of all the nations, the only joy of every human heart; O Keystone of the mighty arch of man: Come and save the creature you fashioned from the dust.

Whereas “O Come O Come Emmanuel” is:

O come, Desire of Nations, bind,
In one the hearts of [humankind];
Bid thou our sad divisions cease
And be thyself our prince of peace. [Protestants rinse]
Rejoice! Rejoice! [plainsong users rinse]
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

The “desire of nations” part is actually heisted from tomorrow’s O Antiphon, and the “king” part is gone. While I love me some Biblical references to the prince of peace, I think “desire of nations” is a bit iffy to begin with. I’ve seen lots of people desire God, but most nations’, or at least national governments’, desire for God seems either entirely absent, or a thinly disguised desire for God to be on their side, which is not at all the same thing. I do want to emphasize that my enthusiasm for viewing God as King sure doesn’t mean that I think political rulers should be required to be of my religion, or to answer to it rather than to their rule-ees. I just mean that God > nations, and that, though I love my country, my primary loyalty is to God. Same reason why I don’t think national flags belong in churches.

[Yes, while I’m critiquing paraphrases, I’ll cop to doing my own paraphrase, above, of Neale’s “all mankind” to “humankind,” but that’s just updating to modern English–today “man” means “male,” i.e. I’m not invited to walk into the men’s bathroom. Also, I used brackets.]

Happy Advent!

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Handwashing to the O Antiphons: Dayspring

Today’s messianic title is “Radiant Dawn.” I never did understand what “dayspring” meant, singing this verse growing up. Now, I do! And in addition to knowledge, and immunological prudence, I’m getting a sense of moving forward through Advent.

O come Thou Dayspring, come and cheer,
Our spirits by thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death’s dark shadows put to flight. [Protestants rinse]
Rejoice! Rejoice! [plainsong users rinse]
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

It’s enough to make me think I should actually get up and view the dawn sometime…

Advent blessings, everyone!

All blog content copyright © 2012-2014 E. Palmberg. Guaranteed 100% brave and freaking noble.

Handwashing to the O Antiphons: Root of Jesse

Monday I started putting up the O Antiphons,– or, more precisely, their paraphrase in “O Come O Come Emmanuel” — for anybody who, like me, wants their immunocompromised need to wash their hands for 20 seconds to come with a side of church history. (Or, better yet, wants to promote church history to first place in the matter, and think of handwashing as a sideline.)

Today we have:

O come Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell thy people save
And give them vict’ry ov’r the grave. [Protestants rinse]
Rejoice! Rejoice! [plainsong users rinse]
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

The hymn verse today is an even looser than normal paraphrase of the original antiphon–

O Root of Jesse, standing as protector of the people; silencing rulers, inspiring the people to make supplication. Come do not delay, deliver us.

That’s according to the Benedictine site I found linked to in the Joan Chittister reflections my co-worker Rose posted on her blog. I like the original antiphon much better, but as it’s not a song I can’t reliably wash my hands to it, alas…

All blog content copyright © 2012-2014 E. Palmberg. Guaranteed 100% brave and freaking noble.

Handwashing to the O Antiphons: Adonai

Yesterday I started putting up the O Antiphons, which celebrate one title for Jesus per day for seven days at the end of Advent. If you’d like to read the the text of the antiphons and a lovely meditation about each day and what each title means, check out the Joan Chittister reflections my co-worker Rose posted on her blog.

I’m doing something more modest–letting you know, if you happen to be immunocompromised like me, where to start rinsing your hands if you are using today’s verse of O Come O Come Emmanuel (which is a paraphrase of the antiphons) to time washing your hands.

O come o come great Lord of might
Who to thy tribes on Sinai’s height
In ancient times once gave the law
In cloud and majesty and awe. [Protestants rinse]
Rejoice! Rejoice! [plainsong users rinse]
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

Rather than just being a gimmick, I think of it as a way to build spiritual uplift into your day. Think about it–you’re going to be repeating something to yourself multiple times a day, whether it’s this or “Happy Birthday to You” or the numbers from one to 20. What do you want it to be?

If you do not care to pursue Jesusy spiritual uplift, I encourage you to adapt your own mantra.

All blog content copyright © 2012-2014 E. Palmberg. Guaranteed 100% brave and freaking noble.

Handwashing to the O Antiphons: Wisdom

Today is the first day of the “O Antiphons,” which, during the last seven days of Advent, are traditionally said or sung before the Magnificat in vespers (evening prayer). Growing up Protestant, I learned them in the form of the great Christmas hymn “O Come O Come Emmanuel,” which is a paraphrase.

So, because Advent is for the immunocompromised too, I’ll be posting the verses relevant to each day, along with a note of where the 20-second mark is (for those of us who need to wash our hands for 20 seconds each and every time, and are sick of singing “Happy Birthday”).

However, the 20-second mark varies a bit based not only on how fast you sing it, but whether you are using, as I usually have, the tune’s Protestant version, which has a longer note at the end of each line (i.e. at “high,” “mightily,” “show,” and “go” in this verse). Catholics, I’ve noticed, tend to use what I presume is the original full-strength plainsong where you just plain sing every single note the exact same length, except maybe the very end of the chorus.

O come thou Wisdom from on high
Who orderest all things mightily
To us the path of knowledge show
And teach us in her ways to go. [Protestants rinse]
Rejoice! Rejoice! [Catholics rinse]
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

Whichever side of the Tiber you’re on, happy last week of Advent!

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Handwashing to the Oldies: Amazing Grace

Background: If you’re immunocompromised or hanging out with someone who is, you’ll be wanting to wash your hands for a full 20 seconds fairly often. You can time this by singing “Happy Birthday to You” twice, but that can get old fast…

Ok, you should probably test this one yourself, as this classic hymn can be sung to a wide variety of tempos. However, at the tempo I naturally fall into, I hit the 20-second mark after “now am found”:

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,

Needless to say, I encourage you to continue to sing even as you start to rinse:
Was blind, but now I see.

Everyone can use a little Amazing Grace!

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Handwashing to the Oldies! First Song: “Let It Be.”

When your immune system is way below normal, as mine is as a side effect of the treatment I’m getting, handwashing is extremely important. One simple way to time things to make sure you lather for the recommended 20 seconds is to sing “Happy Birthday to You” twice.

Simple–and, after a while, incredibly, profoundly annoying.

After I started feeling like I’d got stuck in the “Small Small World” ride at Disney, only with soap instead of animatronic multicultural moppets, my boyfriend mentioned that he used another song. Bingo. Now I’m on a mission to have as large a variety of handwashing songs as possible. One favorite is “Let It Be.” I have the Aretha Franklin version in my head, but I think it’s basically the same tempo as the Beatles version that is probably in your head.

You can go with either of the two following segments:

******************************************************

When I find myself in times of trouble,
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom: Let it be.
And in my hour of darkness,
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom: Let it be.

************** OR **********************

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine until the morrow: Let it be
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom: Let it be.

***************************************************

Actually, you can start rinsing during the last three words.

All blog content copyright © 2012-2014 E. Palmberg. Guaranteed 100% brave and freaking noble.

Bruce Springsteen: “Rosalita”

[Another handwashing-to-the-oldies song fragment to help you wash your hands for the full 20 seconds. Because being immunocompromised doesn’t mean you have to sing “Happy Birthday To You” ad nauseam.]

Ok, I kind of shoehorned this song in, because I felt like including it … the chorus is around 11 seconds, so if you sing it twice that should work:

Rosalita jump a little lighter
Senorita come sit by my fire
I just want to be your love, ain’t no lie
Rosalita you’re my stone desire
[repeat]

OR, you could use this verse segment, if you are familiar enough with the song to remember it. This one is 20 seconds long, so no need to repeat:

Jack the Rabbit and Weak Knees Willie, you know they’re gonna be there
Ah, sloppy Sue and Big Bones Billie, they’ll be comin’ up for air
We’re gonna play some pool, skip some school, act real cool
Stay out all night, it’s gonna feel all right…

Tempo taken from this Youtube video, which says it’s the album version.

This blog was written in 2013 but dated 2012 to prevent overloading the email inboxes of people who follow cherisheach.

All blog content copyright © 2012-2014 E. Palmberg. Guaranteed 100% brave and freaking noble.

Isaac Watts: “Joy to the World”

[Another handwashing-to-the-oldies song fragment to help you wash your hands for a full 20 seconds. Because being immunocompromised doesn’t mean you have to sing “Happy Birthday To You” ad nauseam.]

Joy to the world! The Lord is come
Let earth receive her king
Let every heart prepare him room
And heaven and nature sing, and heaven and nature sing
[can start rinsing here]
And heaven and heaven and nature sing.

Hymns are often sung in different tempos. The section above is about 20 seconds when sung at the tempo used in :09 to :34 of this youtube link.

This blog was written in 2013 but dated 2012 to prevent overloading the email inboxes of people who follow cherisheach.

All blog content copyright © 2012-2014 E. Palmberg. Guaranteed 100% brave and freaking noble.

Three Dog Night: “Joy to the World”

[Another handwashing-to-the-oldies song fragment to help you wash your hands for the full 20 seconds. Because being immunocompromised doesn’t mean you have to sing “Happy Birthday To You” ad nauseam.]

Jeremiah was a bullfrog
He was a good friend of mine
I never understood a single word he said
But I helped him drink his wine
And he always had some mighty fine wine
Singing joy to the world
[can start rinsing here]
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me!

Tempo taken from :07 to :38 of this Youtube video.

This blog was written in 2013 but dated 2012 to prevent overloading the email inboxes of people who follow cherisheach.

All blog content copyright © 2012-2014 E. Palmberg. Guaranteed 100% brave and freaking noble.

Creedence Clearwater Revival: Proud Mary

Another in a series of blogs to help the immunocompromised time our repeated 20-second handwashings without going crazy singing “Happy Birthday to You” ad nauseam.

Left a good job in the cityworkin’ for the man every night and day
And I never lost one minute of sleeping
Worrying ’bout the way things might have been
Big wheel keep on turnin’
And the Proud Mary keep on burnin’
[can start rinsing here]
Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river.

I got the tempo from :12 to :43 from this Youtube link.

This blog was written in 2013 but dated 2012 to prevent overloading the email inboxes of people who follow cherisheach.

All blog content copyright © 2012-2014 E. Palmberg. Guaranteed 100% brave and freaking noble.

Janis Joplin: “Me and Bobby McGee”

[Another handwashing-to-the-oldies song fragment to help you wash your hands for the full 20 seconds. Because being immunocompromised doesn’t mean you have to sing “Happy Birthday To You” ad nauseam.]

Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to loseNothing don’t mean nothing, hon, if it ain’t free
Feeling good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues
Feeling good was good enough for me
[can start rinsing here]
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.

I got this tempo from :48 to 1:12 of this Youtube video. (Well, really the link is to audio with a still photo of Joplin, but who’s counting?)

This blog was written in 2013 but dated 2012 to prevent overloading the email inboxes of people who follow cherisheach.

All blog content copyright © 2012-2014 E. Palmberg. Guaranteed 100% brave and freaking noble.

Handwashing to Leonard Cohen’s “Anthem”

Want a new way to time your 20 seconds of immunocompromised handwashing–something with a little gravitas and a little gravel-iness? Can’t go wrong with Leonard Cohen’s “Anthem”!

Ring the bells that still can ringForget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in…

I timed this to the version from the More Best Of album.

This blog was written in 2013 but dated 2012 to prevent overloading the email inboxes of people who follow cherisheach.

All blog content copyright © 2012-2014 E. Palmberg. Guaranteed 100% brave and freaking noble.